Mistakes are a natural part of life. They allow us to learn, grow, and evolve. However, the weight of past mistakes can get so heavy that it leads to stagnation.

If not kept in check, regret slowly eats away at your emotional wellbeing. The longer you let it persist, the worse your mental health and stability will get.

But here’s the good news: it doesn’t have to persist. With willingness to change and face the past, you can get rid of past regrets, heal old wounds, and start living freely again.

In this article, we’ll look at 7 strategies of dealing with past regrets, how they work, and how you can use them in your day-to-day life. Let’s begin.

How Regret Holds You Back

Regret is an emotion that appears when you realize that your past actions led to undesired consequences, such as broken relationships or unreached goals. In small doses, it can help you identify your mistakes and live better in the future.

However, when it gets excessive, consistent, and overwhelming, regret turns your life into a nightmare. You start blaming and punishing yourself for the littlest mistakes, think of what could be different, and blame yourself even more for missing it.

Over time, this leads to chronic stress, brain fog, self-hatred, and even depression. You lose hope of improving your life, start neglecting yourself, and refuse to use opportunities as self-punishment.

The sooner you start regulating and eliminating past regret, the better your life will become. Even if it seems unlikely, you can set yourself free and regain control of your life in the Present.

Any effort put into self-improvement and cultivating your character is worth it. You just need to stay consistent and trust the process.

7 Ways to Get Rid of Past Regrets

As we’ve just discussed, excessive regret poisons your life and traps you in stagnation, so eliminating it should be your biggest priority. The first step to dealing with past regrets is realizing and accepting that past events cannot be changed.

1: Recognize That the Past Cannot Be Changed

Most people spend a lot of time in the past. They dwell too much on past mistakes, blame themselves daily, and develop self-hatred that poisoned their lives.

Listen. Every single person on Earth has made at least one serious mistake. As we live and gain experience, we inevitably mess up and make wrong decisions that impact our future. It’s not something to be ashamed of, but something to be accepted.

One reason you should accept your mistakes is that the past simply cannot be changed. You cannot go back in time and magically make things better. What you can change, however, is how you live now and how you shape your future.

Life is a series of moments. Past moments cannot be reversed, but you can spend the remaining ones on rebuilding to come out stronger.

I understand that simply letting go from past mistakes isn’t easy. The only possible way to let go of emotional attachment to them is learning the lessons life tried to teach you.

Recommended article: How to Emotionally Detach From a Situation: 7 Step Guide

2: Learn From Your Mistakes to Get Rid of Past Regrets

I don’t know what exactly you did in the past. You may have wasted time on meaningless pursuits, or you may have hurt someone important in your life.

Whatever you have regrets about can teach you how to live the rest of your life with peace and contentment. Instead of blaming yourself for every mistake you’ve made, try your best to analyze them from a third perspective.

Take a few deep breaths, wait for tension and racing thoughts to calm down, imagine that you’re an independent observer, and ask yourself some questions:

• What belief, emotion, or thought caused me to act like this?
• What long-term processes or events caused this to happen?
• How can I prevent this in the future?
• What daily habit can I develop to improve myself in this aspect?

After some calm, detached thinking, you’ll realize that the problems you have aren’t that scary or unfixable as they seemed. Analyzing your past actions allows you to make changes necessary to improve your life from now on.

The more you practice detached analysis and the more lessons from the past you learn, the faster you’ll get rid of past regrets and obtain inner freedom.

Sometimes, though, reminders of your past mistakes can get so strong that it’ll be hard to just detach and forget. This is why you need a tool to help you detach and focus on your current life, and that is mindfulness.

Related article: 8 Red Flags in Yourself (& How to Fix Them)

3: Train to Focus on the Present

The vast majority of people have zero control over their mind. They can control their body and physically work when necessary, but they can’t control their thoughts or emotions. And that often leads to overthinking and dwelling in the past.

The solution is much simpler than you think. You don’t have to take medicines (unless your state is extreme), buy lamps that “absorb negative energy”, or make other impulsive purchases. You should just develop a daily habit of meditation.

Sit still in a quiet room, close your eyes, and focus your attention on deep breathing. Observe how your body feels when inhaling, exhaling, and sitting. When thoughts arise, acknowledge them, observe them without judging, and return to breathing.

This technique takes some practice to remember and internalize, but once you do, you’ll start experiencing real benefits after 2 weeks. You’ll feel less negative thoughts, have more mental clarity, and focus 10x times better than before.

Regular 10 minute meditations train you to live in the Present, which reduces negative thoughts about the past. Thus, this habit helps you get rid of past regrets and start improving your current life.

Living in the Present helps, but what will help you even more is expressing gratitude for what you have.

4: Express Gratitude for What You Have Daily

I frequently see people constantly complain, both online and in real life. They frequently talk about how their job sucks, how little the government does for them, how much workload university gives them, and countless other things.

It’s understandable when these complaints are valid, expose an actual problem, and aren’t frequent. However, when complaining becomes your daily habit and a way to cope rather than make improvements, it can quickly worsen your quality of life.

Alongside meditation and acceptance, the best way to get rid of past regrets and quit complaining is gratitude journaling. This habit takes only 5 minutes to complete, yet the positive effects of it are massive:

Consistent gratitude journaling helps you notice good things, appreciate small pleasures, and realize how much you truly have.

All you need to do is get a notebook and write 5 things you’re grateful for (preferably simple and varied each time) every morning. If done consistently, gratitude journaling will help you develop deep contentment and inner peace.

However, inner peace requires not only gratitude, but direction. And that’s another thing you need to get rid of past regrets.

Related article: How to Stop Complaining: 5 Ways to Destroy Self-Victimization

5: Regain a Sense of Direction to Get Rid of Past Regrets

The vast majority of us drift through life without clear direction, purpose, or values, simply hoping that things will get better by themselves. 

Because most people don’t have clear values to guide their actions or clear objectives to pursue, they lose valuable time that could’ve been spent on something meaningful. And that is the most common cause of regret.

Developing your own values and healthy self-image takes time and practice. However, the returns you get from it are massive:

When you clearly know who you are and where you’re going, you gain natural confidence, develop self-reliance, and become unaffected by challenges. You work towards what matters daily, and thus have no regrets.

To start, make sure you’re alone and have no technology in your room. Ask yourself some important questions:

• Who am I?
• What do I want?
• What heritage do I want to leave?
• How do I truly want to spend my days?
• What work am I the best at doing?

You shouldn’t look for shallow answers like “I’m a [profession] who has a family.” You should dig deeper, try to remember when exactly you felt fulfilled, and how you can develop yourself into the best person possible.

Reflect and put your answers into practice consistently, and you’ll inevitably develop character and direction. It’s much easier than it seems – you just need to try. Most don’t even start, and that’s why they stagnate.

As said in the previous paragraph, you shouldn’t just reflect – you should put in effort and spend time on what matters.

6: Spend Your Time on What Matters

YouTube and social media are filled with messages about how you should “work hard” and “be comfortable being uncomfortable.” They are too vague, inconcrete, and push people to spend more hours on their studies or job in hopes of a better life.

Spending more hours at work doesn’t necessarily bring more results. How you spend your time outside of work matters more than how much effort you put in your workplace. Let me explain:

Your free time is an opportunity to forge your character, improve your health, build new skills, and help others in a way that your current job or studies can’t. The better you spend your free time, the better and happier you become.

Aside from meditation and gratitude journaling suggested earlier, there are some specific habits you can start today, most with zero investments needed:

• Learning languages and skills (via Duolingo or Coursera)
• Lifting weights or doing calisthenics
• Writing, painting, or other creative work
• Reading with depth
• Solving people’s problems using your skills

You don’t have to do all of these at once. Instead, you can start slowly and gradually make lifestyle changes: reading 10 pages, doing a 30 minute workout, and making a person smile is already enough to count the day as well-lived.

By spending each day of your life wisely, you eliminate 90% of future regrets and obtain genuine fulfillment. Remember: happiness and contentment are achieved through consistent effort and gratitude, not big leaps or events.

Finally, to get rid of past regrets, you should do your best to use the opportunities when they arise.

7: Use the Opportunities You’re Given

In a world where most struggle to get by and not break down, there are also many opportunities to grow and make good memories:

There are countless free courses you can take to boost your skills and competence. There are tons of events you can go to and meet people at. Aside from that, there are many hours you could spend helping others and doing what you enjoy.

One of the best ways to get rid of past regrets (and get lucky) is learning to spot and use opportunities. They don’t have to be massive – just enough to help you grow and enjoy life more.

Look for new hobbies to start, and see which ones resonate with you. Try new meals that improve your health and fitness. Compete in various events and attend conferences. Try to do anything new that seems intriguing or exciting.

Once again: you don’t have to constantly look for new stimulation and constantly do something new. The key is to spot opportunities that appeal to you and use them strategically.

Over time, you’ll develop your character, obtain lifelong memories, and move on from your past. Your previous mistakes will no longer bother you, since, at that point, you’ll be too far ahead to care.

Bottom Line

Regret is a destructive emotion. It can push you to make the future better, but if felt consistently, it can become your primary emotional state. This leads to chronic stress, self-hatred, and even depression.

To prevent this and fully get rid of past regrets, you should use a holistic strategy:

• Recognize that the past can’t be changed
• Objectively analyze mistakes and learn from them
• Learn to focus on the Present through meditation
• Express gratitude daily
• Reflect on yourself and life to regain direction
• Spend your free time productively
• Use opportunities when they appear

Are these steps hard? Yes, especially the former two. Are they worth the effort? Absolutely.

The sooner you shift focus from beating yourself up to building a better life, the happier and calmer you’ll become. You have a lot more power than you realize: you just need to tap into it.

Work hard, push past setbacks, and make every day count. Good luck on your newfound journey, friend.

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