8 Red Flags in Yourself (& How to Fix Them)

Biggest Red Flags in Yourself
Beware the Red Flags in Yourself

We all love to search for red flags in other people, in hope to avoid toxic relationships. But only a few of us are willing to look for red flags in ourselves.

No matter why you’re here, it’s important to analyze yourself objectively, work on flaws, and be a better person than yesterday. Before you fix the flaws, though, you first need to find them.

In this article, we’ll look at 8 major red flags in yourself, what they lead to, and ways to fix them for good. Let’s begin.

Biggest Red Flags in Yourself

There are different red flags, and each one has their own unique consequences. Therefore, each red flag requires a different approach to solve. But fear not: most of them only need consistency and willingness to adopt better habits.

The most dangerous one you need to look for is frequent lying.

1: You Lie Frequently

Source: www.newportinstitute.com

Trust is hard to build. It often takes years of effort, honesty, and commitment to providing value for other people.

However, if you lie frequently, even about insignificant things, you destroy that trust, sabotage your relationships, and make it harder to build them in the future.

While it’s easy to know when you lie to others, it’s harder to deal with it when you lie to yourself. In fact, it’s even more dangerous, as it helps deny and ignore problems that need urgent solutions.

For example, you may frequently lie to others about the hobbies you have, because you’re afraid of how they might perceive you. Or, you can pretend that your life is amazing, and that you definitely don’t have any issues, like excess weight or overindulging in scrolling.

Ignoring problems doesn’t make them go away, but consistently makes them even worse. So, how do you break the habit of lying?

Recommended article: How to Keep Moving Forward When Times Are Tough

How to Stop Lying

You do so by consistently telling the truth, both to yourself and others. Whenever you want to lie, remind yourself that preserving good character and honesty is better, and tell the truth anyway.

Track your daily lies, and aim to reduce them to zero. Additionally, you should reflect on what causes you to lie (in most cases, it’s the fear of what others think), and work on eliminating it.

I understand that this habit is hard to break, since I used to be a chronic liar myself. But trust me: life gets better when you stop masking your issues and start facing them directly.

The next red flag in yourself to look out for is: do you get angry easily?

2: You Get Angry Easily

Source: quotefancy.com

When you live in constant stress, everything can irritate you easily. Phone calls, orders from your boss, your child misbehaving – all of these can deteriorate your mental state and make you even angrier.

If you relate to this, you should remember two things. The first is that irritability and short temper break trust just as much as constant lying. People remember you as a trouble-maker, and stay away from you whenever possible.

This makes it harder to form stable relationships, spot your flaws, and creates the foundation for getting a victim mentality, where everyone except you is at fault for problems in your life.

What’s the second thing, you will ask? As it turns out, it’s not the things themselves that make us angry, but our perceptions of them. We can’t fully control our environment, but we certainly can our thoughts and emotions.

How to Deal With Anger

Reflect on what makes you angry, and why it does so. For example, if your colleague disrespects you, you may think that he directly insults you as a person.

If that’s the case, remember that by harming other people, the colleague harms himself more, as he trains himself to be rude and unashamed.

To overcome anger, you should notice when you feel it, breathe deeply through your nose, tell yourself that your thoughts don’t control you, and focus on some task, like work or exercise.

Additionally, as a long-term solution, you can start meditating every morning to control thoughts and manage impulses. Learn how to meditate, do it at the same time daily, and reward yourself with a glass of water for each completed session.

Related article: How to Be a Better Man for Her

3: You Talk More Than You Listen

People love to feel valued. They love when others listen to them, understand their perspective, and build the dialogue based on what they’ve heard.

If you want to be liked by others, you should remember this golden rule: the key to winning trust and admiration is making others feel heard.

Far too many people break this rule, though. They can speak endlessly for hours, without checking if the other person’s interested. This way they show their self-centeredness and lack of respect.

In case you don’t care about being liked by other people, there are great benefits of listening to you personally. You learn more about new topics, get knowledge about the person, and it’s much easier for you to maintain the conversation.

So, if you rarely listen to others, how can you fix this?

How to Listen More Than You Speak

First, find out what topics your companion likes, and ask questions related to them. Put away your phone, pay full attention to what they’re saying, and resist the urge to interrupt.

When they finish, either ask them additional questions, or summarize what they just said. This way you’ll show that you’re interested and paying close attention to them.

Again, meditation is extremely helpful here. It helps you notice when you want to interrupt, and shift focus back to your companion. Thus, it accelerates your learning of the skill of active listening.

One of the next red flags in yourself to look out for is frequent complaining.

4: You Take Everything for Granted

Source: azquotes.com

Nobody likes to be around those that constantly complain. Complainers rarely acknowledge the good in their lives, make a big deal out of their issues, and drain energy of those around them.

Occasional complaining is fine, although your life becomes much better when you fully cease it. But if you refuse to see the good sides in life, focus on what you lack, and take what you have for granted, know that it is a problem.

Not only do other people avoid you, but you become more and more pessimistic every day, to the point where you no longer feel any happiness or joy.

Thankfully, the solution is both simple and easy.

How to Stop Complaining

Buy a notebook, or create a digital document on Google Docs. Once you have a journal, write 5 things you’re grateful for every day, no matter how small or insignificant.

Pay gratitude for having a loving family, a home, food, clean water, clothes, nature, friends, work, coffee, phone, health, mind, and countless other things. Try to write something new each time in the gratitude journal to realize how much you truly have.

Additionally, you should take a break from social media, specifically from watching influencers with luxurious lifestyles. Remember: it isn’t luxury that builds happiness, but strong character, gratitude, and work that helps others.

Another major red flag in yourself is aversion of proper challenge.

5: You Never Challenge Yourself

People need occasional change and adventure. While there’s nothing wrong with having a stable routine, too much of it can lead to boredom, emptiness, and a lack of purpose in life.

If you rarely focus on solving current problems, live every day the same way, and avoid discomfort of any sorts, it’s a major red flag in yourself you should work on.

In case you disagree with me, think: is it better to try something new from time to time and test your limits, or do the same things over and over while ignoring opportunities?

Of course, there’s no need to go to countless luxury resorts, try tons of exotic foods, and end up broke (yes, there are people who unironically do this). We’re talking about small challenges, like doing more reps in the gym than usual, or doing your work a different way.

How do you implement this, though?

How to Challenge Yourself More

Think of areas of your life you could improve. If you have excess weight, you could consider eating less processed foods and doing HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) for 30 minutes every weekend.

If you struggle financially, you can try doing a side hustle to earn an extra thousand bucks and replace scrolling with a better activity.

Speaking about scrolling: if you notice yourself scrolling more than you should, you can try replacing that with reading books and articles about topics you’d enjoy, like history, economics, warfare, or whatever else you prefer.

In short, add more variety into your life, try your best to achieve more, and thrive to spend your life with more enjoyment.

This is impossible, however, if you can’t move on from your past. And that’s another red flag in yourself we should discuss.

Recommended article: 7 Good Habits That Will Fix Your Life

6: You Stay in the Past

Live in the present, don’t worry about the future, and let go of your past. You’ve likely heard this advice a million times, and it sounds stereotypical. But it works.

When you remember the past events that traumatized you, your body releases the same hormones and emotions as if that event is happening again. This means that you relive the same events over and over, putting enormous stress on your nervous system.

Eventually, this can lead to depression, anxiety, and even physical illnesses, as severe as cancer. By holding on to your past, you drain your energy, hoard negative emotion, and forget how to enjoy life.

Additionally, your relationships also suffer, as your risk of lashing out on others increases. Healing from the past is a complex process, and it requires months of effort and patience.

How to Let Go of Your Past

Build the habit of journaling by writing about your day for 15 minutes every evening. Write about what you did, what events you experienced, and how you felt at certain moments.

Regular journaling can help you reflect on your life, make necessary lifestyle changes, and objectively analyze events.

Additionally, you should try to shift focus from thinking about your past to acting on improving your current life. Get some quality hobbies, lift weights 3-4 times a week, and go outside to enjoy nature.

The more you pay attention to the Present, the weaker your bonds with your past will get, and the faster you’ll move on to a better future.

If you struggle with your past trauma and think you’re unable to deal with it on your own, though, seek professional help.

It isn’t just the mental health you should care about, of course. Another red flag in yourself is neglecting your physical wellbeing.

7: You Neglect Your Health

Far too many people suffer from this one. They rarely think about the consequences of their actions, take dangerous stuff into their body, and several years later, wake up with serious problems like diabetes or heart disease.

Diseases aren’t the only problem that appears when you neglect your health. Your work performance gets worse, which leads to financial problems. Moreover, your mental state deteriorates, as your brain doesn’t get proper care and nutrition.

Sure, your health is partially influenced by genetics, but you can control all the rest: what you eat, how you exercise, and how much you abstain from harmful substances.

It’s in your power to quit drinking, smoking, and eating junk food every day. The sooner you get rid of these things, the better the rest of your life will be. You’ll decrease the risk of getting serious diseases, gain more energy to put into work, family, and meaningful hobbies.

How to Take More Care of Your Health

As cliche as it sounds, stick to the basics: lift weights several times a week, get lots of sunlight, eat whole unprocessed foods, and abstain from cigs and alcohol.

It’s easier said than done, so for long-term change, start small and set up a rewards system. Give yourself a protein shake for each completed workout. Also, when you want to grab a soda, energy drink, or beer, drink a glass of water instead (it’s the best drink out there).

It will be uncomfortable and unpleasant at first, sure, but over time, you’ll get the rewards for these efforts. You’ll feel healthier, happier, more motivated, and ready to face new challenges.

The last major red flag in yourself you should look out for is lack of humility.

8: You Never Admit Your Mistakes

Humility is a vital part of personal growth, as without admitting mistakes and taking responsibility for our actions, we can’t go beyond our past identities.

Unfortunately, a lot of people struggle with this. They have massive egos, and act as if their actions have no consequences. This behavior eventually leads to failure, disappointment, and feeling lost in life.

Sure, admitting mistakes hurts, sometimes a lot, but when you do this, you grow as a person. You no longer fail in the same areas again, and become a better person.

It’s okay to make mistakes, as people can’t get everything right from the first try. What’s not okay is indulging in denial and staying in the same place for years.

So, how do you develop humility and accelerate your growth?

How to Practice Humility

Think about different areas of your life, and rate how satisfied you are with them. Then, think of why you fall behind in areas where you do.

Women ignore you? Check if you act needy or creepy around them, and work on improving your appearance.

Don’t have enough money? Check if you spend too much on unnecessary stuff, and find ways to increase your income (stay away from MLMs and crypto scams though!).

As soon as you admit your mistakes and fix them, you’ll feel a lot more confident and content about yourself. Remember: nobody grows in comfort. Growth only appears through effort, discipline, pain, and sacrifice. But it’s always worth it.

Beware the Red Flags in Yourself

People can talk for hours about red flags in others, but nobody’s willing to look for them in themselves.

But you, my friend, are an exception. By reading this article, you demonstrated your willingness to grow and improve, even if it hurts.

These are the 8 red flags in yourself you should look out for:

Lying frequently
Getting irritated easily
Speaking more than you listen
Rarely expressing gratitude
Never challenging yourself
Mentally staying in the past
Neglecting your physical health
Rarely admiting your mistakes

By spotting and fixing these red flags in yourself, you’ll become a better person, find quality friends, and learn to be happy in any situation.

Address these issues one at a time to not get overwhelmed, and remember: small, but steady growth is better than years of stagnation.

Work, exercise, read, drink water, and be a good man. Stay strong, and good luck to you, brother.

If you liked this article and found it useful, make sure to share it on social media and leave a comment below. See you next time.