In the modern world, a lot of people struggle with loneliness. They have a constant sense of emptiness that persists no matter what and drains them from the inside. They want to stop feeling lonely, but don’t know how to do it.

In an attempt to fill this strange void, they turn to dating, romantic relationships, and hookups, all of which fail for various reasons.

If you relate to this, you are experiencing an issue that is far beyond a lack of human interaction. Loneliness isn’t something that can be solved just by having sex with some girl you met online, or worse, jacking off to porn.

I’ve been down there myself, and I know how terrible it is. But I got out of that rut, and I wish to help you do the same.

In this article, I want to tell you why you’re actually lonely, what underlying problems cause it, and how you can eliminate them for good. Let’s begin.

Why You Feel Lonely

Before we learn about things we can do to stop feeling lonely when single, we first need to understand why you feel this way.

There are many different reasons why you feel lonely and isolated without romantic relationships. And no, it isn’t because you have too few friends, or that your ex was a bitch.

The reasons are much deeper than you think. The biggest reason you feel lonely and empty is the lack of purpose in life

1: You Haven’t Found Your Purpose

The modern world makes it hard to live a meaningful life. Billions of people work like mules to get low salaries, and spend evenings escaping their miserable existence.

You likely have the same problem. Because you have no goal to pursue and nothing big to accomplish, you feel empty on the inside.

That emptiness drives you to seek romantic relationships, which, although they give you initial euphoria, lead to long-lasting heartbreak later.

Listen. In this world, it doesn’t matter what you do and how much you try to socialize, for in the end, you are still alone. The only person who stays with you no matter the circumstances and challenges is you.

Therefore, if you want long-term happiness and fulfillment in life, you need to find out who you are, what you want to do, and accept yourself. This leads us to the next point.

2: You Secretly Hate Yourself

Most people have a somewhat negative image of themselves. They look in the mirror and see a person who is not good, successful, smart, or beautiful enough.

They hate themselves for their past mistakes and self-impose limiting beliefs. Whenever they are alone, they feel terrible, because they constantly stay with the person they hate.

It seems quite logical to want to escape to someone else, seek validation from someone else, and use them for personal emotional needs.

People who constantly seek out relationships but never retain them are the people with low self-esteem who place their happiness in other people’s hands. Because of this dependence, they can’t stop feeling lonely when single.

We’ve been brainwashed by the media into thinking that romantic love is the source of ultimate happiness. In reality, romantic love will likely hurt your life more, as it takes away your freedom and makes you dependent on somebody else.

Related article: 7 Signs You Hate Yourself (& What to Do About It)

3: You Don’t Do Anything Meaningful

We’ve discussed how hatred for oneself comes from meaninglessness and past mistakes, but what are the other reasons for your loneliness?

You likely hate being alone because you have nothing meaningful to do. Instead of creating something valuable, solving problems, and making an impact on the world, you consume and stay idle, like 90% of modern society.

Why would you feel satisfied and happy with a single life if you don’t even have any hobbies or things to do to express yourself?

This is an issue that you and millions of other people face daily. The issue isn’t only with you. It is also with the people who are currently in your life.

4: Your Current Relationships Are Shallow

The last, most significant reason for loneliness in a single life is the lack of meaningful relationships. Whenever you talk to people, you don’t discuss topics that truly interest you or exchange valuable insights with them.

You merely engage in small talk and suppress your true self, so that other people don’t judge or make fun of you. This lack of openness and authenticity deprives your life of meaning and connection, which are so important for mental health.

Loneliness doesn’t arise from having too few relationships. In fact, there are many people who spend their time alone and feel perfectly content.

You can be surrounded by thousands of fellow humans, but if not a single one of them understands you, you will still feel isolated from the world.

That is the unfortunate fate millions of people have to deal with on a daily basis. Thankfully, though, it doesn’t have to be your fate.

You can kill loneliness and make your life more meaningful if you focus on doing the right things. It’s time for me to tell you how to truly stop feeling lonely when single.

How to Stop Feeling Lonely When Single

Now that you know what the true reasons for loneliness are, we can move on to learning strategies that actually solve the issue.

Most articles will give you shallow advice, like “learn social skills” and “go out and touch grass lol.” But as you already understood, it’s much more complex than that.

The common advice cures symptoms, but not the core reasons. My 7 strategies eliminate the 4 reasons for loneliness and help change the entire trajectory of your life.

First and most important thing you need to do is dive deep into introspection.

1: Dive Into Self-Reflection

Most people rarely stop to reflect on their lives. They mindlessly go through their days, never question their current lifestyle, and keep doing the same things they did years ago. And then, despite that, they wonder why they’re depressed and unhappy with life.

I’ll be honest with you. Introspection is hard, and it is extremely uncomfortable when you start. But it is only through spotting mistakes and fixing them that we can truly grow.

Start journaling on a daily basis. Write about the trajectory of your life, your thoughts, emotions, and ideas. Don’t hold yourself back, because you’re the only one who’ll read it all.

It will be difficult and awkward to do at first. But it will help you learn more about yourself. You’ll realize certain truths about life, find your mistakes, your coping mechanisms, and understand what you’re strong at and weak at.

Countless successful people have journaled before you, and for a good reason. Without forming a clear sense of identity, all the other strategies will be useless. So, to stop feeling lonely when single, focus on introspection first, and then move on to the next steps.

Related article: How to Start a Self-Improvement Journal

2: Find Your Purpose in Life to Stop Feeling Lonely When Single

After journaling about stuff for a few weeks, you’ll want to start something greater. And that something is finding your masculine purpose.

As I said before, most people are unhappy because of a lack of meaningful goals. Once you discover your passion, goals, and favorite work, you’ll immediately start making good progress.

Purpose gives you direction, meaning, and helps you navigate life’s challenges with courage and resilience. Making progress towards it will ultimately become your main source of validation, and help you eliminate the core reasons of loneliness – lack of meaning and self-love.

Think of goals that you want to achieve, the impact you want to make on the world, and ways through which you can actualize them. Maybe you want to be a writer, like me, but you never started. Maybe you want to be a great musician who inspires and motivates.

Whatever it is that you want to do, write about it. Write about your true desires, goals, ambitions, and aspirations. Don’t hold yourself back and express yourself fully. Once you’ve discovered your purpose, get to work immediately.

Related article: How to Be Mentally Tougher: 9 Ways to Cultivate Resilience

3: Make Progress Daily to Stop Feeling Lonely When Single

One of the major reasons people are lonely, depressed, and anxious all the time is that they aren’t making progress. They have no control over their lives and are at the mercy of higher entities, like their parents, employers, and creditors.

They live their whole lives in slow degradation, slowly getting consumed by despair and nothingness. To avoid this fate and stop feeling lonely when single, you simply need to do the opposite: make progress.

For example, if you want to be a writer, start by creating a Google Doc/Word document and filling it with 500 words every day. If you want to be a great businessman, learn about the basics of business, product development, marketing, and leadership. Just take some action daily!

Yes, it takes years to achieve major goals and make tons of money. Yes, it isn’t easy, and you will want to quit sometimes. But that is what makes the journey precious.

You slowly, but surely, build yourself up, hone your skills, develop good character traits, and attract like-minded people into your life.

The more you improve yourself and the more you work on something meaningful, the more you’ll distance yourself from the crowd, and the more you’ll attract people with high energy levels.

Related article: How to Enjoy Life as an Introvert

4: Forgive and Accept Yourself

Everyone makes mistakes. It is completely normal, and even necessary for growth, because mistakes allow us to find things that don’t work and discard them to make more progress.

Unfortunately, the modern education system has taken that belief away from you. It has convinced you and billions of people that failure is permanent, and that everything should always be perfect, down to the last detail.

This attitude prevents people from expressing themselves, trying new things, and getting outside of their comfort zones. It makes you a weakling that lives in fear of failing, and, ironically, dies in regret and failure.

To stop feeling lonely when single, waste no more time on beating yourself up. Whatever past mistakes you’ve made, accept that you made them, and think of lessons that you could learn.

If you used to be a people pleaser, take note that you shouldn’t do it anymore, and move on. If you got overweight because of constant gaming and inactivity, forgive yourself, and focus on what you can do now: exercise, eat clean, and avoid processed foods.

Hating yourself is unproductive, and it pulls good relationships away from you. Increase your confidence through consistent action, and you’ll find yourself attracting the right people after a few months of effort.

Recommended article: 15 Things to Do Instead of Scrolling on Social Media

5: Increase Your Value to Stop Feeling Lonely When Single

You now know that the key to solving loneliness is increasing self-esteem, knowing your self-worth, and having a direction to move towards. Aside from working on your purpose and learning to forgive yourself, though, how else can you increase your value?

Work on improving different areas of your life. If you struggle with obesity or have too little muscle, start weightlifting and increasing your muscle mass.

If you struggle with spending free time productively, learn about good habits and hobbies you can adopt, and make small steps to integrate them into your routine. Meditate for 10 minutes daily to clear your mind, learn martial arts, a useful skill connected to your work, and express appreciation through gratitude journaling.

Stop wasting your time on little, irrelevant activities, and spend it more on things that have a high return on investment. People are attracted to those who live interesting lives and those who can help them out in times of need.

Become a person who is healthy, both physically and mentally. Adopt creative, physical, and social hobbies that help nourish connections and become better. Yes, it is hard, yes, it is uncomfortable, but it pays off greatly.

It takes just 20 hours to get decent at a hobby. You just need to start, show up daily, and stay patient. In the end, you’ll feel proud of yourself and feel much happier.

Related article: How to Improve Your Character: 10 Ways to Become Virtuous

6: Express Yourself Freely to Stop Feeling Lonely When Single

Most people fail in life because they’re afraid of what everyone around them is thinking. Instead of starting that business, building that website, and living freely, they allow the possibility of external judgment to control them.

Listen. Life is too short to waste on worrying about disapproval and rejection. One of the main regrets dying people have is that they were too afraid to express themselves and pursue their dreams.

If that wasn’t enough to convince you, think about this: by expressing yourself authentically, you push off those who are different from you. But at the same time, you attract people who share the same values, and gain opportunities to make lifelong relationships!

Whether you want to express yourself by tweeting stuff, by inventing, or by writing content, go ahead and do it. To stop feeling lonely, show the world what kind of man you are, what traits you possess, what you like, and dislike.

It’s a million times better to be hated for who you are, rather than loved for someone you’re not. Stop being a coward and focus on creating rather than consuming.

Related article: Why Being a Nonconformist Creates Success (& How to Be One)

7: Live for Yourself, Not for Others

Finally, the last tip I can give you is to stop sacrificing yourself for others. When you do this, you stifle yourself, inhibit self-expression, and allow other people to manipulate you.

Never, I repeat, NEVER do something just to impress someone. It isn’t attractive, it drains your money and energy, and it lowers your status.

If you constantly seek out relationships just for the sake of having them, you’re doing it wrong. There is no benefit to such shallowness, as it only makes you feel emptier.

To stop feeling lonely when single, cease chasing external validation, and focus on your own life. Build a jacked physique, a profitable business, adopt interesting hobbies, think about the world, make your own conclusions, and only keep people that you genuinely like.

I will be honest. It will still be lonely at times, but it is only a temporary feeling. Over time, you’ll find friends on self-improvement and get ahead of people who put you down. Go through that pain, go through that struggle, and be grateful for it, for it will free you from mediocrity.

Summary

Most people are lonely, constantly chase relationships, and treat romantic love as the ultimate source of fulfillment. They obsess over dating, partners, and live life for others, only to end up broke, alone, and unhappy at the age of 40.

The real reasons for loneliness aren’t the lack of a partner or using social media. Loneliness arises from low self-esteem, lack of purpose, meaningful activities, and genuine connections.

For the next several months, instead of chasing hookups and instant gratification, focus on these things:

• Do introspection, learn about yourself;
• Find your purpose in life;
• Make progress towards it daily;
• Forgive and accept yourself;
• Increase your value through good habits;
• Express yourself authentically;
• Live life without seeking external approval.

I understand, it takes time for these strategies to bring results. But there is no quick cure to your problem.

The advice in this article is the ultimate solution for loneliness, because it eliminates the core reasons for your unhappiness. You can either keep running in circles, or start small, and build a life you would enjoy.

Create, develop, and grow. The longer you do it, the better your life gets. Always remember this, brother.

If you liked this article and found it useful, make sure to share it on social media and write about your experiences in the comments below. See you next time.